Baby Steps

Somebody once asked Stephen Levine how long it takes to fully reawaken to life and he answered, “It’s the work of a lifetime.” But we live in the kind of mind which, after it glimpses what lies outside of the prison of thought, wants that freedom right now, whether it calls it living in the now or becoming enlightened. Down through the eons, our minds have tried to live in the now or get to enlightenment, which only leads to more frustration, keeping us ensnared in the world of trying and doing rather than rediscovering the art of relaxing into life. 

You can begin to put this journey of awakening into perspective when you realize that for most of the time humanity has been on this planet, people have been caught in their mind, experiencing life through their thoughts rather than being fully present for the real thing. (If you doubt that look at history and you will see all the suffering that comes from our mind’s addiction to struggle). We also need to add that you too were conditioned out of the living moment, retreating to the world of thought for most of your life. No wonder it is so challenging to learn how to use thought rather than being lost in it! 

I am not making thought bad or wrong. It is a wonderful and essential tool you need for living but when it ensnares your attention you become caught in a world of thought, cut off from the deep connection with life that you long for. More and more people are finally learning how to use thought to help them maneuver through life but also not be caught in the stories their mind generates all day long. 

Becoming free from the prison of thought is a process. It’s much like a baby who is learning how to walk. The muscles in his legs are not strong enough to hold it up, let alone take a step, let alone walk and run on its own. In that process, the baby falls down a lot but then he gets right back up again and slowly and surely the muscles in his legs become strong. 

Strengthening the muscle of your attention is much the same. In the process of learning how to bring your attention back to life as it is, you will fall back into the world of thought, into the world of struggle over and over again. And without the natural perseverance of a baby, we have a tendency to get frustrated and despairing, thinking we are a failure at freeing our attention from thought. But the invitation is to be like the baby. When you find yourself again lost in thought, know that every time you fall back into your thoughts, it is simply an opportunity to strengthen the muscle of your attention by bringing it back to this moment – even if you stay here for just a split second.  

At the beginning of learning how to relate to the stories in your head rather than from them and you get glimpses of a freedom that you have almost completely forgotten about. It then becomes easier to see the distinct difference between having your attention lost in thought and having it here for life. It becomes clear that the world of thought is mostly busy, oftentimes dense, sometimes very dark and usually tight. Whereas the world of being present for life is open, light, spacious, and still.  

When you see this distinct difference, really see it, this is when you become passionate about strengthening the muscle of your attention. Be patient, for there is a very good chance that your attention muscle is as weak as those baby’s legs when it first started learning how to walk.  It takes time to strengthen it.  

So give yourself the gift of just a few minutes every day. Consistency is far more important than quantity of time. Choose a focus that is grounded in life like the sounds around you or the rising and falling of your breath. Then place your attention on your focus. Be fascinated. See how intimately you can experience your focus but be not dismayed when your attention drifts back into the world of thought. 

You may not even notice for a couple of minutes that you are again thinking about life. The key at that point is no judgment. Your attention has only been ensnared in thought for most of your life. So gently bring it back to your focus, knowing that every time you do you are strengthening the muscle of your attention just like the baby strengthens its legs by standing up every time it falls. The stronger your attention muscle becomes, the easier it is to see and unhook from stories of fear, anger, self-pity, loneliness, helplessness, shame, and even despair (to name a few). And as these clouds in your mind dissipate through the light of your accepting attention, what is left is the living moment of life with all its wonder, intelligence, wisdom and love.