Our Secondhand Lives

We have traded an alive, intimate connection with life for our thoughts about it. Most of us don’t even notice that we mainly think about life rather than truly experiencing it. This is partly because most everybody else is half alive too. Alan Watts, the author and Zen master, once said, “No matter how many times you say the word water, it will never be wet.” In other words, your thoughts about life pale in comparison with experiencing the real thing.

There is a wonderful quote from Shakespeare’s Macbeth that is like a crowbar, prying us away from the belief that our thoughts are who we really are, and they speak truth:

“Life is but a walking shadow; a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

It’s easier to get the essence of what he is talking about when you change the first word from ‘life’ to ‘mind’. Read it again and you’ll see what I am alluding to. “Our minds are but a walking shadow. In other words, our thoughts are a veil – a shadow that separate us from life.

He goes on to say that the stories in our head strut and fret their way through life until we die. If you doubt that, imagine your thoughts are broadcast over a loudspeaker so you can actually hear what they are saying. It will be easy to see there is a heck of a lot of strutting and fretting. I wouldn’t go so far as saying it is a tale told by an idiot. It is just simply how our minds were conditioned to be.

The heart of what he is saying is in the last line…. All these stories in our head are full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Signifying nothing??? The first time I heard this truth my mind was affronted. “I am important,” it said. “You need to listen to what I am saying for I will keep you safe.” But true safety doesn’t come from trying to control life. It comes when we rediscover how to use our minds to show up for life rather than always trying to make it be what we think it should be.

Can you imagine what your life would be like if you learned how to use the tool of your mind to maneuver through your life but not be endlessly caught in it? If this intrigues you, I invite you to pause, lift your eyes from these words and ask yourself this question, “What would my life be like right now without any stories laid over the top of it?” Let in the startling truth that maybe your life would be a heck of a lot easier if you didn’t get so caught in the struggles in your head. Another way you can say it is, “Without needing anything to be any different than what it is, what can I notice about this moment?”

Do not be dismayed at how challenging this can be. It’s scary to come out of experiencing life purely through thought and instead actually be present for it as it is! You may have one moment of being fully present for life and relaxing into its intelligent flow before thought captures your attention again. But be willing every day to strengthen the muscle of your attention by simply choosing a focus – like your breath, the sounds around you, the taste of your morning tea. And every time thought grabs your attention again, you simply say thinking and then bring your attention back to your focus.

As you strengthen the muscle your attention in this way, more and more you won’t be trapped by the stories in your head that talk about fear, and shame, and loneliness, and arrogance, and self-pity, and even anger and on and on. When you can see your thoughts rather than falling into them, you will know, for more and more moments, the joy of being fully present for your life.