You Have Already Been Accepted By Life

In The Deepest Acceptance, author Jeff Foster tells us that if something is showing up in your life, it has already been accepted by life. He says: 

 “I was so busy trying to accept that I ended up missing this deep acceptance of life – in which even my failure to accept was accepted! Yes, this is how radical this acceptance is – even your non-acceptance of pain is accepted here. All waves are accepted by the ocean, and if what’s happening right now is non-acceptance of pain, then that is accepted too. The pain is okay, and your dislike of pain, your wanting to be free from it, is okay. The seeker is accepted even in their failure.” 

Why is that so powerful? Because, like most people, you have gotten lost in a problem factory (the storyteller in your mind) and this problem factory is the opposite of acceptance. It usually thinks there is something wrong and it has to fixed. That is an endless game of struggle.   

One of the ways I have described what we are exploring here is to imagine you live in a locked room. It has a thousand doors to get out of it and you try 999 doors multiple times. One of three things happens each time you try: 1) The door is locked (e.g., you go on a diet and you actually gain weight, or you start running and you sprain your ankle).  2) As you open the door, you get excited, but there is a brick wall (e.g. you ask your boss for a raise and are given a new position based on commission, which requires you to work twice as hard to make more money than you were previously making).  3) You open the door and there is no brick wall, so you walk through the door and find yourself back in the same room (e.g., you feel trapped living in your small hometown, so you move to a city and end up feeling trapped in your 8th floor studio apartment).   

Now, there is a little, tiny door in a dark corner with a word written on the front of it. It starts with two letters, H-E. You decided that is the doorway to H-E-L-L and you are not going anywhere near it. But one day you are so deep in despair you finally decide that hell has got to be better than this. So, you go over to the corner and crouch down in front of the little door, and you see that the word written on that door is H-E-R-E. In other words, whatever HERE is doing right now is a part of your journey beyond struggle. 

Even with this word written on the door, you decide that this door can’t possibly be the way out. It can’t possibly be true that accepting what I’m experiencing, so I can be present for it, is the way out. But, with no other options, you stick a finger in the door, and it begins to expand (You take a few moments every morning to simply notice life). And then you stick an arm in and it expands even more (You begin to bring your attention to experiences you formerly resisted like physical pain, fear, and even heartache).  

But you never really go through that door and outside of the room. Why? Because eventually the door would expand enough to dissolve the room of struggle for it was just a dream in your mind. And we are addicted to that struggle. 

The heart of what we are exploring here is that the lasting healing you long for doesn’t come from changing anything. It comes from the ability to see and be with what is. And the challenges of your life are here to show you your particular room of struggle. As you learn to become interested (by sticking a finger in the door), you will begin to realize that everything you truly are is already here and has always been here.   

No need to struggle with your struggles. Be fascinated and watch your room of struggle dissolve.