Life is for You!

There is a very popular quote by Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, that speaks to a key in discovering how to let go of our addiction to struggle in order to show up for the amazing, wondrous and mysterious adventure of life: 

“Accept–then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” 

The storyteller in your head may see this as insanity. It may say, “But I can’t accept this pain in my body (or my abusive husband, or my anxiety, or the drug addiction of my child, etc.).’’ The storyteller in most peoples’ heads truly believes that if it lets go of trying to control life, then it will be a victim to life and things will probably get worse.    

This is all a part of our core compulsion, which is to struggle with life! But we are so much more than the storyteller’s world of struggle. Being caught in its game of resisting and controlling life is like living in an exquisite home with magical gardens, and instead of living where we can be open to it all, we live in a windowless bedroom down in the basement.    

Of course, we have a big screen TV (our storyteller), so we can watch stories about life. But the stories in our heads are not the living experience of our lives. They are just ideas about life, and they cut us off from the magical, mysterious and alive celebration that is life! I am not putting down the exquisite creation that is our minds, but rather than being the marvelous servants they are intended to be, for most of us, they have taken over and become the master! 

What Eckhart is alluding to is a key to coming out of your basement room and living in the whole house of your being. It truly is possible to know the peace and joy you long for. It is also possible to have the challenges of your life empower and heal you rather than throw you into more struggle. It is not only possible, it is our destiny to discover how to unhook from the world of struggle and know the joy of being fully alive. This is what Rumi, a Persian poet, is talking about when he says, “Beyond right doing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”  

It’s important to understand that Eckhart is not saying just sit down by the side of the road and let life run you over. Instead, he is saying to allow accepting to be your primary relationship with life and then act from that place. Make what is it you are experiencing your friend and ally – not your enemy. Then, you are no longer the victim to your life because it is all happening for you. To have acceptance as your fundamental relationship with life will take you out of the narrow world of struggle, making it much easier to respond to the situation rather than react to it. 

Challenges are a part of life, and they will keep on coming like too many things to do; a recurring compulsion; miscommunication in relationships; health issues; financial difficulties; or a stress-filled job. Discovering that your challenges are for you rather than happening because you failed, or you are being punished or there is something wrong with you is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.  

This is such a radical shift from how we have been conditioned to be with life. It is the shift out of controlling into connecting, out of struggle into peace and joy.  

It is very important for us to gather together to make this shift our own and to support one another along the way. Starting on January 12, 2022, my interactive online course, Being Healed by Our Compulsions will begin again. We are now offering $200 off until November 22nd with coupon code: $200offcomp5 We will explore together our core compulsion, which is to struggle. Rather than trying to control our compulsions (which never brings healing in the long run), you will discover how to use your compulsions to heal yourself to your core.  And as you do this, compulsions simply fade away. If you are interested, you can click the link above and register online.  

Now allow one long deep breath and for this moment, soften your belly, open your heart. Invite yourself into the possibility that everything that is happening in your life is for you. Then open up to a couple of spacious laughs. As a Tibetan Lama once said to Andrew Harvey, “Once you see what is really going on here, you will nearly die laughing!” As you become aware of and learn to work with the struggling mind, you truly will know the ease and joy you long for.