In Every Closing There is an Opening

I once spent a week sitting in silence in a beautiful lakeside home that had a view of snowcapped mountains. For the first few days, my storyteller was fairly quiet. I was fully open to life, as it was appearing. We are all homesick for this: actually experiencing life as it is happening (rather than thinking about it!) In this spacious state, when my storyteller would start telling stories, it was easy to see that they were just stories, and I could let them go.

On the third day, however, when I woke up, the deep fear I took on from being raised in a very unhealthy environment, showed up. A part of me knew that my fear wanted to be included in this spacious healing place I was in, but a very young part of me was afraid of the fear and resisted it. At the same time, I could see that resistance was amplifying it. So, I turned toward it, bringing it my accepting attention. As I was willing to experience the fear in my body, it moved right on through me, leaving a deep sense of joy in its wake. This is what Rumi means when he says: “Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged places. That’s where the light enters you.”

The fear came again four more times during the week, and each time there was initial resistance, but then a willingness arose to befriend this fear. Such joy! At some level, for most of my life, I have been afraid of my own fear so, in a sense, it was running from my life. But when I was willing to directly experience it – to honestly look at what was going on inside of me – it lost its power over me. I came out of this retreat with two statements: “In every closing, there is an opening. Stay open to the closing.” And, “Fear is nothing to be afraid of!”

You can’t be open to life by trying to be open. That is just more struggle. How we come back to being present for life is to first understand that most of the time we experience stories about life, rather than being in life. In other words, we think about life rather than actually experiencing it. It is such a wondrously nourishing experience to open to life again like we were when we were very young! This is what Eckhart Tolle means when he talks about being in the now.

We don’t need to stop this storyteller in our head who is always trying to do life and do it right.  All that is needed is to discover how to see it and touch it with our hearts. The more we do this, the more its stories dissolve like the morning fog does when touched by the sun. When we can see our storytellers and see how afraid they are, we will discover that we don’t have to identify with them, whether they are stories of fear, shame, anger, or even despair.

I leave you with a few lines from a poem called “Dancing,” from Steve Deverl’s new book of poetry called Whispers from the Awakening Heart. It is a power packed little book of nourishing, heart-inspiring poems that remind us how to stay open to ourselves no matter what is happening so we can stay open to life!

How does one enter this dance?

Only one thing is needed:

Watch in stillness with beginner’s mind,

Let thoughts float in open heart space

Like butterflies in the meadow

And fireflies flickering and fading into nothingness.

 

Openly receive each moment and you will know freedom.

Not easy.

Easier than you think

Hold not to freeze dried mental models

That imprison the soul and obscure the Dance of Life Now.

 

Let heart flow to what it needs.

Feel life directly

You already know.

If this blog resonated with you and want to explore more of my work, I invite you to listen to my upcoming radio show on Dreamvisions 7 Radio: The Second Key to a Joy Filled Life, It will air on Thursday, October 24th at 5am and 5pm HERE. After the 24th, it will be available on demand, along with every other radio show I’ve ever done HERE. Please feel free to explore my catalog and listen to topics that call to you.

Offerings:

Thank you for another excellent call! I’m excited to announce the details for the next one: Does Pain have to be so Painful? We will be meeting on Tuesday, December 3rd at 5:30 pm PST for an hour and a half. We will continue to meet every two months, so keep an eye out for future events!

We all experience pain.  And we all experience all levels of pain – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

But we are living in an exciting time where we are changing our relationship to pain.  Join Mary in exploring how, rather than resisting the pains in your life, you can befriend them so that you receive the gifts that always come with them.

Don’t forget if you can’t make it on the day, you can still participate by sending your questions and enjoying the recording after the call at your convenience. I hope to see you there!

Click HERE to learn more and register!