Healing Your Deepest Hurts Part 1A

Have you ever noticed you have a voice that talks in your head all day long? I call it the storyteller. Mickey Singer, author of Untethered Soul, calls it the roommate, which I really like because it points out that this storyteller isn’t you!!

If you had a little door on your forehead and opened it to see the conversation that flows through your head all day long, you’d notice it is very busy, constantly trying to manage you and your life. If you watch carefully, listening to it like you are listening to somebody else, you will see it has a lot of fear and judgment. It likes this, it doesn’t like that. You’re doing it right, you’re doing it wrong. It is full of shoulds, and shouldn’ts, can’ts, and won’ts, and of course, grasping and resisting,

Let’s eavesdrop on a person who is walking down the sidewalk of a major city. We first see them waiting for the light at a crosswalk, enjoying the sunlight on their face. Then they close their eyes to listen to the music of life all around them. And the storyteller says, “I like this. I want more of this.”

Then, on the other side of the street, they recognize a person they have seen a number of times in the local sandwich shop, whom they find intriguing. Immediately, their heart begins racing as their mind says, “I can’t see them today because I didn’t wear the right outfit.” They duck behind a tall man, and when the light changes, they walk behind him, hoping that the person they are interested in doesn’t see them.

At the next stoplight, the wait is so long that they get bored and look at their texts only to see that their date tonight has been canceled. This immediately triggers a cascade of thoughts about what is wrong with them that would lead this person to cancel. Did I talk too much the last time we got together? Maybe I chewed my food too loudly. They totally miss when the light changes, and, as somebody bumps them from behind, they feel a wave of irritation.

As they hurried down the sidewalk, their attention was drawn to a beautiful suit displayed in a window. Immediately, they want this suit with all their heart. But then comes the voice that says you are too fat to wear that suit. And you are too lazy to go on a diet. A flood of self-judgment and despair overtakes them.

At the third stoplight, they take a look at their watch and realize they’re going to be late for work. Despair is now replaced by panic. They speed walk down the sidewalk, not caring whether they bump into people or upset them. As the fancy shoes they wore in hopes of being seen as fashionable began to hurt their feet, self-judgment interrupted the panic for a few moments, saying, “You were so stupid to wear them on a workday.”

When they arrive at the building where they work, they get in line for the elevator, and in this pause, they notice their heart is beating fast and their stomach hurts. Panic says, “Oh my God, I’m going to be late, and it was only yesterday that my boss warned me not to be late.”

As the elevator doors close, they realize someone is wearing too much cologne. They immediately react in judgment, thinking, “They are so insensitive. They don’t realize that their cologne affects other people.” Wanting to say something, they decide it’s best if they keep quiet, or they may be judged in return. By this time, they are so unsettled that they contemplate going back down the elevator and getting hot chocolate and a buttery croissant at the snack bar to soothe their nerves. But they immediately realize that would make them really, really late, so they clench their jaws, tighten their stomach, and try to will the elevator to go faster.

As the elevator doors finally opened on their floor and they stepped out, much to their shock, their boss stood only a few feet away, talking to a group of people. Their whole body becomes so tight that it’s hard to breathe. But since their boss is facing the opposite direction, they can quickly scoot around the back way to their desk. When they sit down, there is so much anxiety moving through them that, rather than getting to work, they open their favorite social media and begin scrolling, hoping it will soothe them.

You just eavesdropped on one possible scenario of what it’s like to have the 65,000 thoughts we experience a day completely capture our attention. You can see the storyteller transitioning from liking to disliking, from wanting to fearing, and from the past to the future, all the while never being fully present in life. You can watch how, in one moment, the storyteller thinks everything is okay, only to be thrown into the cauldron of ancient hurts. And if you’re honest with yourself, you will see how following your thoughts wherever they go, can wear you out!

Freedom comes when we discover how to relate to our thoughts rather than from them, using thought for the excellent tool it is, without getting lost in its story.

If you are intrigued, you can explore this in greater depth in my new podcast episode on Dreamvisions 7 Radio: A Healing Your Deepest Hurts. It will air on Thursday, November 13th and 20th at 5am and 5pm HERE. After the 20th, it will be available on demand, along with every other radio show I’ve ever done HERE. Please feel free to explore my catalog and listen to topics that call to you.

Additionally, starting Nov 15^th, my course called What’s in Your Way is the Way, along with my other self-paced courses, will be $100 off (Only $49 per course). It is an excellent guide in unhooking from the addiction to struggle, which is our storyteller’s world. I invite you to check it out.