Meet Yourself with Kindness and Heal the World

Like most people, you are run by unconscious beliefs you took on when you were quite young.  What are these conditioned beliefs? They come as feelings of inadequacy, being stupid, less than, too much, ugly, better than, outsider, broken, weird and different (to name a few). As you grew up, you learned how to bury these unacceptable and often unbearable parts of yourself deep inside, cutting yourself off from the joy of being fully available to life. Slowly you became a human doing rather than a human being.

The way back to the free-flowing aliveness of being, which you knew so very well when you were very young, is to realize that we all carry these feelings and there is nothing inside of you to be ashamed of or afraid of. When you realize this, you can begin to bring curiosity and compassion to all the unwanted parts of you.

In order to be with yourself in this way, it is helpful to slow down for a few moments here and there and, as you do, you can begin to notice what is going on in your body and your mind. Simply notice and acknowledge what you are experiencing, whether it is a sensation in your body, a feeling or thought. The more you can see what you are actually experiencing, the more your heart opens, for you see how much your mind has been trained to struggle and how young are the voices of your struggles.

As you learn to be with what you have formerly resisted inside of yourself, a miraculous thing happens. You are no longer afraid of or ashamed of any part of you. Then, even if somebody is exhibiting a behavior that you formerly resisted inside of you, you can meet them with understanding and compassion. Stephen Levine, author and spiritual teacher, says: “If our habitual conditioning is to try to overcome our pain, we will have a tendency to feel overwhelmed when things don’t go the way we wish. If we can open to our own pain and explore our resistances and long-held aversions, there arises the possibility of touching another’s pain with compassion, of meeting another as we meet ourselves with a bit more clarity and tenderness.” In other words, when I can be with my own pain, I can be with yours.

What we are talking about is humanity coming home to our collective heart and you are a part of that. You have such an exquisitely beautiful heart, but it was shut down when you were young. It had to go off-line because it was not safe to keep your heart open. But it is time to braille your way back home to your heart, bringing everything you formerly hated and feared about yourself to your own understanding and compassion.

So, for just today, be tender with yourself. If you are experiencing any upsets, touch them with kindness and compassion, even for a brief moment, and just let them be. You are learning to meet yourself with tenderness instead of fear and this is where deep and lasting healing happen.

Stay tuned for the launch date of Mary’s new book, Falling in Love with You.