The Great Healer of Trauma
We used to think it was only people who experienced war or major traumas like mass shootings could be said to be traumatized. But now we know all people on their journey through life experience traumas, some more than others. We are each wounded by life. And our personalities were created around these wounds much like a pearl is created from the irritant of a grain of sand.
In this constantly changing world where there is little we can hold onto, trauma is a word that resonates with a chilling echo in the corridors of our minds and bodies. And yet its manifestations are as varied as the individuals it affects. At its core, trauma results from experiences where we have little or no control and that leave us feeling threatened, powerless, and often isolated in the aftermath. But the spectrum of what constitutes trauma is broad and deeply personal, reflecting the unique ways in which we interact with the world around us.
Trauma is not reserved for the dramatic or the catastrophic alone; it encompasses a wide range of experiences that breach our capacity to cope and leave lasting imprints on our psyche and soma. Major traumas include experiences like sexual and physical abuse, natural disasters, wars, sudden loss of a loved one, or severe accidents. However, traumas can also stem from situations not universally thought of as traumatic, such as betrayal, rejection, financial loss, being fired, divorce, or even cultural practices that violate personal boundaries like sanctioned abuse or child marriages.
Many individuals carry traumas that are invisible to the outside world and oftentimes even to themselves. This blindness to trauma often leads to minimizing or outright denying the impact of these experiences, both for ourselves and others. One of the ways I survived the trauma of my childhood was to believe, deeply believe that I was making a big deal out of nothing. However, acknowledging these hidden traumas was crucial for me to begin the healing process.
Trauma, whether acute or long-term, can lead to a state of numbness, where integrating what has happened becomes impossible in the moment. Then we hide these overwhelming feelings deep inside of us, where, rather than going away, influence us from underneath our everyday awareness.
So why do I call trauma the great healer? Everything flows in nature. Water flows from the mountains to the oceans, light waves dance all around us and within us, sound waves flow everywhere, day flows into night, winter into spring. Blood flows throughout our body, sap flows up and down trees, and the Earth flows 65,000 miles an hour around the sun.
And when you were first born life energy flowed and danced through you. You were so connected with it that you loved to twirl and swing and run for the pure joy of it. But slowly as you began to take on what Ram Dass calls somebody training, as small and big traumas showed up in your life, you began to shut down parts of you and hold them tight in your body. Slowly and surely this free-flowing aliveness dimmed and over the years you became more contracted and less alive. Instead of living in your body you got caught in your head, experiencing life only through your thoughts.
When you don’t have enough trauma in your life, you can easily go to your deathbed disconnected, disembodied, cut off from the joy of being fully alive. But trauma won’t let you stay asleep. Trauma demands and cajoles and invites you into the process of setting these pockets of bound-up energy free so you can know again the joy of being in a body that dances with life rather than always thinking about it, trying to resist and control.
If you are interested in exploring this more, listen to my radio show The Great Healer of Trauma airing on Dreamvisions radio on Thursday, April 11th at 5am and 5pm HERE. After the 11th, it will be available on demand, along with every other radio show I’ve ever done HERE. Please feel free to explore my catalog and listen to topics that call to you.
Offerings:
If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to join us for our next free live call. The feedback we’ve received has been tremendous, it warms my heart. The next live call will take place on May 7th, so save the date. The topic is: Healing the Unhealed. Here is the summary:
We are each a community of parts, parts we like and parts we don’t like. But the parts we try to hide from don’t go away. In fact, they influence us from underneath our everyday awareness. Join Mary in exploring how to heal your unlikable parts so you can become a whole and vibrantly alive community.
Sweet Mary,
Another wonderful blog, thank you! I’ve watched my parents and grandparents on their death bed disconnected and discombobulated. It was painful to watch. I made a pledge to myself that I was not going to continue that pattern in my family line. It is very motivating to keep meeting my parts with love and kind attention so they are liberated and free from the stress and strain they endured for decades. I have had to set boundaries with my sisters while I unhook from the family system that no longer serves me. It’s grueling work at times but totally worth it!
That is so hard, but what a wonderful realization to take from it. Thank you so much for sharing this! It can definitely be very challenging at times but definitely worth it! You are on your journey. Be light!