Moving from Reacting to Responding

We come in 3 layers.

1st: This is our essence. The place of joy where we know who we are and we trust ourselves and trust our lives.

2nd: Over the top of the first layer are all of the confusing, scary, unmmeetable and unacceptable parts of ourselves stored deep within our bodies.

3rd: The controlling mind that keeps the second layer buried and tries to ‘do’ life rather than ‘be’ life.

We all lived in the 1st layer when we were very little. Slowly we shut down, holding our breath and tightening our bodies, turning away from our immediate experience. This created the second layer which effectively seals us off from the 1st. We then retreated to the world of thought, the controlling mind which is the top layer, becoming human ‘doings’ rather than human ‘beings’.

In this journey away from ourselves, we all took on patterns in our bodies, in our emotions and in our minds. We live these patterns until we can bring them to consciousness and let them go. The challenges of our lives come embedded with our patterns and are here to show us the patterns we need to let go of so we can be truly alive. Rather than problems, our challenges are doorways out of our reactive life back into the joy and well being of the 1st layer.

To live in the top layer is to live in reaction and this brings so much suffering in our lives. It is hard on our body, our hearts, our friends and loved ones. And as long as we stay in reaction, we don’t ever open back again into the joy and peace that is our birthright.

What we are exploring together is how to move from being reactors to being responders.

The first step is the understanding that life is for us. It wants us to know and live from our essence. And our challenges are tailor-made to help us to see and let go of the patterns.

When we begin to see that life is for us, it brings us to the second step – curiosity. Focused human attention is one of the most powerful things on this planet. As we learn how to be curious about what is going on rather than trying to control it, curiosity will dissolve our reactions and what we need to do to bring balance into our lives will become clear.

Invitation: Set aside 10 minutes every day to practice closing your eyes and listening to the sounds arise and pass away all around you and within you. And when your attention drifts back into the conversation in your head, bring your attention back to the sounds without judgment. Every time you hear a new sound, name it. Listen as if you were a child again. Be fascinated.

This allows you to begin to develop your muscle of curiosity so that when reaction starts to take you over, you can see it and let it go. Stay with just the sounds this week. The muscle of your attention needs to strengthen before you can use it to dissolve your reactions.