Being Here For Ourselves

For the past week I have been dealing with some intense health challenges that bring up all sorts of feelings inside me (along with their stories about the future).  When these feelings come, I find my body tightening in resistance and my mind tries to get busy doing something – anything except being with what I am experiencing. Can you relate to that?

It is startling to realize that most of us leave ourselves when we most need ourselves!  And yet this only creates more suffering, for what we resist gets stronger!  When I recognize I am in resistance to what is going on inside of me, instead of turning away from myself, I have learned to ask, “What is asking to be met?”  I know from experience that the power of turning toward your experience rather than away is phenomenal.

Sometimes when feelings are very strong, all I can do is recognize the resistance to them.  But most of the time, I can soften around what I am experiencing and truly be there for whatever is happening inside of me, and when I do, I sink into a place of great joy. Relating to what you are experiencing rather than being lost in it not only brings spaciousness around what is going on, but it wakes up your heart, and your heart can say to the fear and despair, “I see you and I understand how hard this is for you.”

There is a wonderful mantra that can help you cut through your resistance to giving yourself the healing of your own compassionate attention: “As is. I’m here.”   When you say “As is” on the in-breath and “I’m here” on the out-breath, it reminds you of the healing power of your heart. It is an invitation beyond the endless struggle of trying to be what you think you should be so you can move into the power of allowing yourself to be exactly as you are.  It is the willingness to embrace all the parts of your being so you can receive the nourishment of the compassionate attention you are hungry for from the only source that really matters, yourself. As you soften around your experience, allowing it to be here and even welcoming it, it will, in its own time, open up and the energy that was bound up in it will expand and release.