A Call to Kindness

Are we living in a time where everything is breaking down? Or are we living in a time where everything is breaking through? It sure looks like it’s breaking down. California is burning up and almost the entire city of Paradise was destroyed. The sea levels are rising and there is so much divisiveness in the US that our polarization is showing up as violence. On the 312th day of this year, there have been 307 mass shootings. (A mass shooting is where 4 people, not including the shooter, are killed) Also, according to the non-profit organization Every Town for Gun Safety, a total of 65 shootings have occurred on school campuses across the United States as of October 4. 

How do we respond to this? It’s so easy to react with fear, blame and anger which only polarizes us more. And it’s so easy to feel hopelessness, helplessness and despair. But what would happen if this a breakthrough time? How would your life change if you saw all this chaos as an invitation to respond in a new way? What would it be like if you knew that the change that needs to take place is so much more than just passing legislation? 

I’m not saying don’t protest or become an advocate. That can be very important. But what I am saying is all this violence and all this craziness is a request for a deeper healing, the healing that happens inside of you and in your daily life. For you can be the solution to this challenge. You can begin to respond with your heart rather than react with your mind to your everyday challenges.  

There was a powerful interview with Aliana Housley’s family. She was the youngest of the 12 victims of the mass shooting at the Borderline Bar and Grill in Thousand Oaks, California.    

Included in the interview was Arik Housley, Aliana’s father; his wife, Alaina’s aunt, the actress Tamera Mowry Housley and her uncle Adam Housley, a former Fox News correspondent.   

They spoke directly to the polarization when they talked about the response they had on social media. Most of it was supportive but some of it was downright ridiculous. One tweet to Adam said that he deserved it because he was a correspondent for Fox News and that tweet was liked by 78 people. 

Tamera said, “There needs to be a change but with all the noise, nothing has been done.”  

They said they were willing to talk even in the middle of their grief because Aliana would have wanted us to go deeper than just politics.  When the interviewer asked what do they want to come out of this great loss, Adam said, “If I was to walk out of here and the first thing I was to say was, you know, ‘Gun control,’ guess what? Half the country reacts and the conversation ends.” 

“And we don’t want the conversation to end,” responded Tamera. 

Then the interviewer asked, “What is the conversation that her death can inspire?” 

And her father responded, “To us, it’s to be kind to one another. It’s to put down your technology, put down your phones and look at somebody and have a conversation. It’s not about gun control; this message is about doing something bigger, to be with your community, to love one another.” 

“All things that you don’t have to legislate,” said the interviewer. 

“Right. Exactly,” said Arik. 

Adam added, “To get to the point where we can have a conversation about anything political, it has to start here [he points to his heart]. It has to start with the soul, because we’ve lost that.” 

Arik then said, “What if somebody walked up to the guy and just asked him how he was doing that day and said ‘hello’ to him or did something that may have just changed his mind, instead of ignoring, or whatever we’re doing?” 

The interviewer then said, “You know what people are going to say, though – skeptics are going to say it’s too simple, that that sounds great about being decent and kind and reaching a hand out, but I think most people are going to say it’s too complicated.” 

“But I think it starts there,” said Tamera.  

That impossible divide – the chasm that pundits suggest is too wide for any bridge – all faded away when Alaina’s family saw, as she was being driven through Napa for the last time, all the people lining the road. 

“She would want to happen what happened today, when we drove down that street. I saw people of all colors, all ages, people I’ve never seen, and I was born and raised in this town, hugging, holding hands, shaking hands,” Adam said. “She’d want that to happen at the national level.” 

So, I invite you to ask yourself how you can respond rather than react. How can you bring inclusion rather than exclusion into your daily life whether it is standing in line at the grocery store or talking to your mate?  

How you respond not only to all the craziness but also in your daily life matters. It may seem that moments of kindness are so small in comparison to the violence, anger and hatred but every moment of kindness matters and accumulates for love is stronger than fear and hate. Or as it says in the Dhammapada, a revered collection of Buddhist scriptures, “Hatred never ceases through hatred at any time. It is only by love it is healed. This is an unalterable law.” 

Meet yourself and humanity in your heart so that all can be healed.