Attention!

I invite you into one of the most powerful healing tools you will ever have on your journey back into a trust filled connection with yourself and with life. And that tool is ……

your ability to pay attention

It is truly remarkable how much frustration can be avoided and how much peace and joy come from simply paying attention. Right now, both around you and inside of you, the greatest show on earth is happening and yet you rarely actually pay attention to it. Maybe for a split-second your attention is here – you smell the new mown grass, or you hear the sound of a bird, or you receive a beautiful sunset – before it slips back into the thoughts in your mind.

If you doubt this, stop reading for a moment and really see something in the space you are in. See it as if you have never been on this planet before. How long did you keep your attention on that object? If you are like most people, it is just a matter of seconds before your attention goes to something else.

William James, considered to be the father of American psychology once said, “The education of attention would be an education par excellence.” But for most of us, we haven’t been educated about how to use the phenomenal tool of our attention and thus our muscle of attention is weak, following thoughts wherever they go.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself is to strengthen the muscle of your attention – attention to life around you, attention to your body and attention to the people in your life.

In order to connect more deeply with life in the present moment, would you be willing to give yourself the gift of five minutes a day where you sit quietly and bring your attention to the sounds around you – the bark of a dog, the air conditioner turning on, an airplane flying overhead, a gurgle in your stomach, the slamming of a door, a car going by? In these precious moments you are listening to the music of your life!

Now, don’t make this a struggle between your thoughts and being present. For most of your life your attention has followed your thoughts wherever they go. So of course, your attention will drift back into thinking but don’t judge that. Just simply bring your attention back to the sounds and every time you do, you will be strengthening the muscle of your attention. You will also begin to notice that there is a huge difference between being present for life and having your attention caught in the thoughts in your head.

We also don’t pay attention to our bodies and yet they are field of infinite wisdom and joy. Instead, we have mostly become heads walking around on top of our bodies. Or, as James Joyce once said, “Mr. Duffy lives a short distance from his body!” Now, there are good reasons for this. Most of us were thoroughly scared and shamed out of our bodies when we were young so, in learning how to live in our body we need to be patient and gentle.

One of the ways you can do this in a safe way is to bring your attention into your body after you wake up in the morning and are still snuggled in the safety of your bed. If this calls to you, find three distinctly different sensations – a tickle on your nose, a cold foot, a tightness in your back and simply acknowledge them. Every time you do, you take another step back into the unending joy and delight that comes from befriending your body. And you can strengthen the muscles of your attention even more by exploring one sensation deeply. I assure you that tightness in your back is made up of multiple sensations.

We also don’t pay attention to our friends and loved ones. When was the last time you saw, really saw, someone’s face? Most of the time, we see our thoughts about them rather than actually seeing them. What if, for a few moments today, whether it’s a friend that you are talking with on zoom, a partner you are watching TV with, a child who is showing you their favorite toy, a grocery store clerk, you simply pause and really see them. See how their face is animated, see the different shapes and colors and the dance of shadow and light that are constantly changing on their face.

And most of the time we don’t hear our friends and loved ones. We hear just the stories in our head. The next time you’re in a conversation with somebody, invite yourself to suspend any of your own stories and listen, really listen to them. This can be harder than you think. It is so easy for us just to pay attention to our views and opinions, and then possibly interjecting them into a conversation.

But I assure you, one of the most powerful ways to bring healing into any relationship is to really listen to somebody else. You may totally disagree with what they are saying but magic happens when we are listened to, for we all long to be heard.

Of course, all of this is made so much easier when you learn how to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings rather than following them wherever they go. The more you watch what’s going on inside of you, the less you take it personally and your thoughts and feelings become simply clouds passing through the spaciousness of your true being. If this interests you, we will explore this in greater depth in next week’s blog called The Theater of your Mind.

There are so many things in our lives that we have little or no choice around but one of the most powerful choices you have in your life is what you are going to pay attention to. So give yourself the gift of strengthening the muscle of your attention so that, rather than being caught in your stories about life with all of their reactions, judgments, struggles and opinions, you will know more and more the joy of being fully present for your own life!