Your Imperfections Hold Hidden Treasures
Do you sometimes believe that all of the mis-takes you have made in your life are proof that you are ‘bad and wrong’ and perhaps even a failure? This belief causes so much heartache because it is a misperception. A wise teacher once told me, “Mary, with all the mistakes you have ever made in your life, you have never made a mistake.” Yes, you probably do need to make some changes in your life, as we all do, but to make them from the belief that you are ‘bad and wrong’ only creates more heartache in your life. If you can instead see your mistakes and imperfections as a part of being human and recognize that they always bring information for your growth, they become your teachers rather than your jailers. This wonderful parable speaks directly to this:
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”
Although you have your own unique flaws, it’s the cracks and imperfections that make your life interesting and rewarding. We all need to learn how to be like the Chinese woman when the cracks in ourselves come to light. Are you willing to practice radical self-acceptance? Are you willing to say to yourself when self-judgment is here, “I am okay just as I am”? Know that there will be parts of yourself that will fight this, and they will try to convince you that you are not okay. Recognize the storyteller for what it is, a voice in your head that loves to tell you old stories of self-judgment, so you can respond to your life rather than reacting from it.
As you learn how to see through self-judgment, your attention is then freed to be passionately curious about how your life is unfolding and you will be able to gather all the treasures – both in the easy and the difficult parts of your life. So, plant seeds on your path with all of your flaws, cracks, and imperfections, and soon beautiful flowers will grace your heart.
Image of Party Girl (Red Zinnia) – Original Painting by Susan Pepler www.susanpepler.com