Say Yes!

Have you heard about those puzzle escape rooms that are all the rage? They lock you in a room and you need to solve puzzles and interact with the room in certain ways to discover the keys to escaping. This is a great metaphor for what is happening inside of most human beings. They are locked in the puzzle room of their mind, constantly absorbed with the problems of life, continually trying to get to the peace and the ease that they long for, which is right outside of the small room of their mind.

We have all tried very hard to get out of the narrow confines of our minds. For the last couple thousand years the push has been to become enlightened, which is all about rising above our struggling mind. And if that worked, we would have zillions of awake people! We have also tried for the last couple hundred years to create a different reality with our minds, which, if you talk to people that have tried this, it not only doesn’t work, but they oftentimes feel like failures and become afraid of their thoughts.  Trying to create a particular reality rather than discovering how to show up for reality just keeps you caught in the puzzle room of your mind.

There is another way to become bigger than the struggles in our minds. If you listen very carefully when you’re deeply challenged by life, there is a quiet voice inside of you that says, “Say yes to whatever is happening!” This is the exact opposite of what we have been trained to do but acceptance is magic. Acceptance is all about softening around your experience rather than resisting.  It has been shown that when you do this with a part of your body that is hurting, blood flow increases, and your nerves calm down.

Saying yes doesn’t only work with your body; it works with your mind and emotions. Over and over again, as I have been going through the intense contractions that accompany spine surgery, it has become deeply clear that when I tighten down around my experience, my body hurts more, my mind becomes more agitated and my emotions intensify.

And yet, when I soften my belly, allowing a long slow out breath, and then say, “I say yes to this. I allow this discomfort to be here,” things calm down. Saying yes loosens the contractions of resistance, giving more space to whatever you are experiencing, whether it is discomfort in your body, your mind or your emotions.  The more you soften around your experience, the more you discover that right outside the world of reaction and resistance, there is a field of ease and peace that is always here.

If this intrigues you, start with the little things. If you try to soften around the big contractions of life at the beginning, it will be like going to the gym and picking up a 100-pound weight. All you will do is hurt yourself. Saying yes to stubbed a toe, or a headache, or a way too long stoplight, will train you to respond to the uncomfortable times in life so that eventually, even if you receive a difficult diagnosis or just lost a loved one, you will be able to be present for yourself rather than living in the tightness of reactions.

I leave you with a wonderful quote from Eckhart Tolle:

“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”