Letting Go, Letting Go, Letting Go

Take a moment to notice, are you holding your breath? Is there tightness in your shoulders or tension in your stomach? In this wild roller coaster ride called life, we all hold on a lot. We have all been conditioned to do life, which causes a lot of trying, judging, comparing and wishing things were better or different than what they are. And this tightens your mind, your body and your heart.

There is another way to live life. It is the art of letting go. I invite you right now, as you breathe in, to tighten every single muscle you can find and then, very slowly, on your out breath, let all that tightness relax. If it calls to you, do this a few more times and you may begin to notice a spaciousness that comes when you soften what is chronically holding inside of you.

You might also have discovered a resistance inside of you to even stop and allow one long slow out breath! No need to judge this. We are all scared of letting go because the last time we were that open to life – when we were very, very little, – we got scared out of ourselves and we have all been holding on since.

I once saw a slow-motion video of children playing on monkey bars. The youngest children would let go of the last bar a split second before they grabbed the next, for they hadn’t yet lost trust in themselves and trust in life. The older they became, they wouldn’t let go until they grabbed the next. And to watch most adults on the monkey bars can be very funny until we realize the death grip they have on the bars is an indication of how much we have all learned to hold on, losing sight of trusting life.

Before I began awakening, I was a true scaredy-cat, and even though fear still does come, it reminds me to relax the contractions and let go into this moment of my life. As I have traversed the journey from holding on to letting go, I want to share with you that the safest thing you’ll ever do is let go. I know, the mind may screech, “I must be in control. I am afraid of the unknown!” And yet it is our addiction to trying to control life that keeps us caught in the tight and small prison of our minds.

There is a well-known teaching story that points to the safety of letting go. A man is hanging by a rope, dangling off a cliff as he desperately asks for help. A beautiful being comes and says, “Let go.” Of course, this man is terrified that if he lets go, he will fall to his death. So, this being invites him, one finger at a time, to let go. When he is holding on by just his baby finger, his mind recognizes the improbability that he can hold on with just his baby finger, but he still can’t let go. Finally, out of desperation, he lets go and nothing happens! He had been standing on the ground the whole time!

We are all standing on the ground of being all the time, supported by life. And I say again, the safest thing you’ll ever do is relax into life. Yes, it’s scary to even contemplate letting go and trusting life again. So, add moments of letting go into your life. Start right now by softening your belly and allowing a long slow out breath. You can give yourself the gift of this kind of breath when you’re waiting for the elevator, or the stoplight, or your morning coffee. You can also add little bits of letting go when you’re watching TV or brushing your teeth or by allowing yourself to melt so deeply into your bed that you become open to being held rather than just lying on top of the mattress.

I leave you with an inspiring quote from Ajahn Chah, the beloved Thai Buddhist monk, which points to the gifts that come when we relearn to relax into life:

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”