In-body-ment

You may have experienced the same thing I did when I was young. I became completely caught in the conditioning that said a woman’s value was through the look of her body and if you weren’t small and at the same time have big breasts, you were fat out of luck. And I was fat out of luck.

I once hated my body so much that I abused it with alcohol, food and drugs.

I once hated my body so much that I wouldn’t wear makeup because I had to look in a mirror and if I accidentally looked, all I saw was self-revulsion.

I once hated my body so much I would only wear dark and baggy clothes.

I once hated my body so much that there were a number of years in my 20s where suicide seemed like the only option.

After a long, long journey away from my body, I now live in my body and we are actually friends! Wonders never cease! If you would’ve told me all those years ago that my body would become a dear friend, I would’ve laughed hysterically. Now my heart swells in gratitude for all it has done and is doing for me.

Sometimes I touch my thighs and thank them for making it possible for me to walk, dance, hike and swim. This is such a huge shift for me because my thighs were the part of my body that I hated the most but now I love them, even though they flap in the wind!

Sometimes I look at a piece of food and am completely astounded that my body knows how to break it down and weave it into eyelashes, arteries, toenails, and capillaries in my lungs!

Sometimes I lie in bed at night and feel the beating of my heart. I bring my attention and my imagination into its world and see/feel its intelligent intricacies – valves opening and closing, blood being sent to my lungs to be oxygenated and then back to my heart to be pumped throughout the 60,000 miles of my circulatory system! 60,000 miles!  I don’t have to think one thought to help my blood go on its nourishing journey. And my heart has kept on beating every single moment of my life! I think you can see now, as I feel the magic of my circulatory system, how I am opened into awestruck gratitude.

Sometimes I look at/feel my hands and am unbelievably grateful for all that they have allowed me to do – caress, give, dig, carry, tickle, touch, type, hold on and push away.  Can you imagine brushing your teeth or feeding yourself without hands? And sometimes, with my attention/imagination, I will go into the bones in my hands and rather than seeing them just as bones, I see them as busy beehives constantly remodeling, building new bone and breaking down the old. This brings deep joy!

Sometimes I am astounded that I can let life in through my ears and my eyes. If you take for granted your ability to hear and to see, just imagine all the people in our world who can’t, and then, in this moment, allow a deep and abiding appreciation for the gift of seeing and hearing.

Because I now know how to appreciate the astounding gift of this body and because I know how to soften the chronic tightening we carry around most all the day long, for more and more moments, my whole body lights up with joy as energy dances freely throughout my whole being!

And most amazing, I can look in a mirror now and, even with all the sags and wrinkles, my heart swells in recognition of how beautiful it is and what an amazing gift I have been given by life!

Sometimes I am still astonished that being so disconnected from my body, cut off from its intelligent wisdom, I was able to live. But I not only have survived but I am thriving because the safest thing I’ve ever known is actually living in my body even though in my earlier years this was impossible to do. So now, rather than being just an object in my mind, I am present in my body, flooding it with compassion, appreciation, respect and kindness.

Your body too is a unique creation of life and it faithfully has done so much for you over the years and it has been given to you to experience life and to celebrate the gift that life is. Know your body is beautiful no matter what it looks like! And even if there are parts of your body, which are either not working or are in deep pain, what those parts need is compassion and care.

So, no matter how you feel about your body, use this blog to inspire you to begin to meet it through your heart. Take your body back from the self-rejecting conditioning that is all over advertising and social media. Do this not only for yourself, but for all the children who are coming after you. Earlier and earlier, children are learning to reject their body in an attempt to make it into an idea of what they think it should be. And this is happening not only for the little girls but little boys too.

Be courageous. Be a part of the healing of our planet by actually living in your body. Thank it for all the many things it does for you every day and when you can, celebrate the gift that it is! Dance, sing, massage your feet, lovingly brush your hair, walk on the grass without shoes, skip, let your body express itself fully by dancing as if nobody is watching, smile at yourself in the mirror and as you swim, have moments where you let the water hold you!

Rediscover that it is joyful and fun to live in your body exactly as it is.  Rediscover that the wisdom of your body is one of the best friends you will ever know on this amazing journey called your life!