The Joy of Simply Being

How have the Holidays been for you?  Filled with joy and laughter?  Filled with anger, judgement, heartache and sadness. Or maybe a mix of both? And what is happening in your mind around the New Year?  Do you feel that you must whip yourself into shape by setting goals?  On this journey of Life, it takes a while to begin to see that with all your wanting (maybe a slimmer body, a kinder parent, a different mate and on and on and on), what you really long for is to simply be!

Even though it is one of the most profoundly healing things a human being can do, most of us don’t know how to be. In the Washington Post there was an article on July 3, 2014, reporting on a series of 11 studies done by psychologist Timothy Wilson and his colleagues at U.Va. and Harvard University. They put people in a room with no distractions for 15 minutes– no window, no music, no phone, no iPad – and there was a buzzer that they could shock themselves with if it became too much just to be. Six of the 24 women shocked themselves, and 12 of the 18 men did so.

We have forgotten how to be.  Our minds are usually busy planning what is going to happen, rehashing what did happen and struggling with everything else in between. We love to acquire and do, fix and achieve, attain and figure out. There is nothing wrong with these except when they cut us off from the astounding healing of simply being.

Take a moment, or maybe even a few minutes, to put down this blog, allow a long deep out breath and simply be.  All the millions of moments of your Life have brought you to this moment, the only moment that matters in your whole life.  Be as fully present as you can for it.

Maybe you didn’t even try this.  Or you tried and your mind took over, talking about how bored it is, or that it doesn’t know how to do this or it isn’t doing it right, or maybe it just drifted off into a stream of thought.

Your thoughts put a veil between you and the living moment of your life.  When you relearn how to simply be, you begin to discover moments in which your mind, your body and your heart are all in the same place at the same time. The more you open to what is present, within and around you in this moment, the more connected you become, and the more you live from the wellspring within you that holds all the clarity, peace, wisdom, and joy that you long for. You then learn how to use your doing mind when you need it, allowing it to fade into the background again as you discover the truth and the beauty of Life as it is, right here and right now.

We have all been so far away from our lives, lost in the activity of our minds, that most of us don’t know how to be present for ourselves. We don’t know how to be present for Life. In our disconnection from ourselves and from our lives, many things become a substitute for the joy of being like feeling everything will be okay if you find the perfect mate, get enough money to buy your dream car, or lose enough weight to fit into your old clothes. But nothing from the outside can quench your deepest longing. What you truly long for is to be awake for Life and to experience the joy of being at home within yourself and within your world.

It is important to understand that to just be is not about becoming powerless.  It is not about being out of control. Even though at first glance being seems like passively letting Life do with you as it will, it is the exact opposite. It is a passionate engagement with Life as it is right now. You then live from response rather than reaction. Cultivating being is a very active place where you are alert, listening and learning from every experience you are given.

So, start small.  Allow yourself during the day to pause, opening to a long, slow out-breath and then truly notice your Life.  Notice the shapes, the sounds, the colors, the shadows and light.  Notice your body, becoming curious about what sensations are dancing through it right now.  Allow your mind to become interested in this moment. This moment is different than any other moment in your whole life.  Even though your mind will probably take over quite quickly, even a few seconds of actually being here for Life matter!  Slowly they accumulate and you find your way out of the maze of your mind, back into an alive, curious, heartfelt relationship with Life.