Falling in Love with Everyone

CBS This Morning aired a very interesting story that deeply touched me as it was saying what I know to be true – at the heart of every single one of us is basic goodness. They started the story interviewing several people they met randomly on the street and asked them, “If they lost a wallet with a lot of money in it, what are the chances that the money and or the wallet would be returned?” Most people said maybe the wallet but not the money or the credit cards.

To see if this was true, CBS created eight wallets and each held a key, money, a grocery list, and business cards with contact numbers. They randomly passed them off to strangers on the street saying, “I just found this wallet and I have to leave. Can you take care of it?”

Five out of the eight wallets were returned with everything intact!  When they interviewed the people who returned the wallets, most people said that it was the right thing to do. In other words, there is much more goodness in the world than we imagine.

The story then went on to talk about a study that was reported in the Journal of Science. In this study they ‘lost’ wallets in countries all around the world. They put $650,000 out there and 72% of the wallets were returned with all the money intact! And they discovered that the more money in the wallet, the more likely it would be returned. Don’t skim by this. Let it in. 72% were returned and many of them were ‘lost’ in countries that were economically distressed!

They then interviewed Steven Pinker, a cognitive psychologist and professor at Harvard. He unequivocally said there is more good in the world than we expect. He pointed to Lincoln’s appeal in his first inaugural address where he referred to the better angels of our nature. Steven said that if you look at history, you will see that over and over again, our better angels win over our darker angels. It is hard for us to see that because the news channels and social media are all about sensationalism. The returning of a wallet is not hot news. So, our basic goodness is overshadowed. The truth that we are there for each other has been almost completely ignored although that is changing in this year of Covid-19. It is so evident that many of us are caring for the whole of us.

The Dalai Lama also says that at the heart of every human being is basic goodness. This includes the grumpy nurse at the doctor’s office, the aggressive driver on the freeway, the obnoxious teenager at the park, and even politicians you may have a hard time with. This also includes your children, your mate, and most especially yourself. Yes, when we are challenged by life, we all at times act unskillfully. But basic goodness is like a multifaceted diamond. No matter how many layers of dirt cover over that diamond, it never loses its beauty or brilliance.

So, for today, start with you. You are a unique and exquisite human being. And at the heart of you is basic goodness. If you can, go look at yourself in the mirror and maybe even wink. For to uncover the truth of your basic goodness is to bring laughter and joy into your life.

From the recognition of your basic goodness, you can start discovering how to open your heart even to the most difficult people in your life, remembering that no matter how unpleasant they may be right now, they are just hurting and at the heart of them is basic goodness too. And if your heart closes, after-the-fact you can open to how much your heart was closed so that, overtime, it becomes easier and easier to stay in contact with not only your basic goodness but that of every single person you meet. You then become a healing presence in the world.

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How to discover your own basic goodness is one of the core messages in my new book, Falling in Love with You  We have received so much positive response that we are rerunning our holiday special for Valentine’s Day. It is so important to love yourself first with your whole being, so you can embrace others with the warmth of your heart.

This is a wonderful little book to share with everyone you love and care about. From now until Valentines Day: buy three Falling in Love with You paperbacks from my website and get a fourth one for free. It will automatically be included in your package.

Falling in Love with You: Nuggets of wisdom for a heartfelt life paperback is available on our website and Amazon paperback & eBook.

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During these challenging times, our compulsions can tend to get more interesting for us. My 8- week interactive online course, Being Healed by Our Compulsions, is beginning on March 31st. Give yourself the gift of transforming your relationship with your compulsion from something that is wrong and needs to be controlled to a doorway that opens into the peace and the ease you long for. Enroll by February 9th and receive $200 off tuition. Use coupon code: comp4$200 Sliding scale also available. Contact devrah@maryomalley.com for more info.