Awakening on the Freeway

Ahh, the joy of freeway driving. I have been doing a lot of that lately, going to various doctors’ appointments. And, like anything else in life, it can create more tightness, aggravation, struggle and isolation or it can bring forth more spaciousness, ease and a nourishing connection with yourself and your fellow human beings. 

So, it may be a little weird to hear driving on the freeway can be a heart opening experience! This afternoon on the freeway my focus was all about going somewhere. I wasn’t actually there on that freeway. And then I woke up, realizing all the millions of moments of my life had led to this unique and never to be repeated moment. I began to open to what was happening in this moment, remembering this is a precious moment of my life and I can either show up for it exactly as it is or stay enmeshed in the world of thought. As I began to relax back into life as it was, the tension of struggling with life faded away and instead there was connection. Ahh, the joy of showing up for life as it is! 

Now, when I am late to an appointment, it is harder to settle back into simply being, connecting with the living moment. But when we are late, what an opportunity to see how much our mind can struggle about getting there, being on time and being frustrated by other drivers. When I am in that situation, it takes some long, slow out breaths to settle back in and not miss my life. And, over the years I have seen that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to and I will arrive when I am supposed to … even if it is considered late. 

And on those days where I can’t unhook from my mind and bring my attention back here, it is another opportunity to see how much our minds have been conditioned to do life rather than be life. And even after the fact, I can bring a lot of compassion to my busy, doing mind. 

When I do settle in, what oftentimes comes is the realization that of the almost 8 billion people on our planet, there is no accident who I was driving with on the freeway and the joy is to be as present for them as I can. When you begin to realize that every single person has a story and every single person has known or will know the same pain you have and every single person feels the same feelings that you do, you begin to see there is nobody that you need to put out of your heart. You may need to put them out of your life, but you don’t need to put them out of your heart. As cars whizzed by me or I passed them, I oftentimes feel the joy of our common humanity.   

Freeway driving is also a wonderful place to see how much our mind loves to judge. It loves to judge the cars people are driving i.e.: He must be a very insecure man to need such a fancy car, or don’t they know that black smoke is coming out of their tailpipe? I catch my mind at times judging slow drivers in the fast lane and drivers that are going way over the speed limit. My mind also judges people that cut in line and people that tailgate. I am not saying that these activities are okay, but it is astounding to realize you are the one that pays the price for judging other people AND you don’t have a clue about why they are driving a particular way or what car they are driving. It is also very humbling to realize that sometime in my life I have driven that way too! This is when my heart opens again. 

It isn’t only freeway driving that can show you what it is like to be caught in your mind and what it is like to live from your heart, it’s driving itself. I lived in the same bedroom with an older sister whose survival system was dominance, along with the message I am right, and you are wrong. So, four-way stops have been very revealing to me. When I first started noticing my aggressive stance that said, “You better not take my turn,” I was a little ashamed of myself. But when I realized that this was just a part of the very young part of me that needed and wanted to be seen and heard too, it began to open my heart. It only happens now when I’m feeling really pressed by life, but it no longer causes me to judge myself. Instead, it reminds me to meet myself with compassion. 

The invitation is to use driving, or if you don’t drive, being a passenger in a car or if that doesn’t happen being on the subway, or the bus, or even the sidewalk as an invitation to come back to life. Use these modes of transportation to get to know how your mind distances you from others and also how to use them to discover the pathway back to meeting yourself, meeting others, and meeting all of life with the wisdom of your heart.