Your Mirror – Friend or Foe?

What happens when you look into your mirror? Do you like what you see? Are you neutral about what you see? Does the reflection in the mirror cause you to contract in rejection? Or, like I did for so many years, do you try to never look into a mirror? It was way too painful. I had been brainwashed as all of us had with images of what I should be, and I was always coming up way short. 

For most of us looking in a mirror can be very challenging, especially without our makeup on or hair done for we have been conditioned into a very narrow idea of what beauty is. (This is true for guys too, except maybe the makeup part.) What was the magazine you read when you were young that embedded in you the idea that you should be different than what you are? Or maybe it was movies, TV shows, or social media sites. They all show images, usually unattainable images, we buy into hook, line and sinker, images which cause us to look into a mirror, and reject who we are. 

Also, when we were young, the love we needed for survival came from outside of ourselves. Just like a liquid being poured into a Jell-O mold, we learned to become what we thought we should be in order to purchase this love which, for many of us, came in drips and drops.  

The pain of being conditioned to compare ourselves to some mythical idea of what we should be can be devastating. It can cause us to starve ourselves, to undergo painful surgeries, and even kill ourselves because we feel we can never live up to what we think we should be.  

The pathway back to seeing, meeting, and accepting ourselves as we are, can be tricky but it is so well worth it. It does take time to dismantle our old conditioning so we can give ourselves the most amazing gift we can ever give and that is our own accepting heart. 

It begins with the understanding that you are a unique expression of life. There has never been a human being on this planet that is exactly like you. No one! And you have been given the exact body, the exact emotional nature and the exact mental makeup that was necessary to express your unique individuality.  

Let’s go a step further. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. What would it be like if your big nose became something to celebrate? Or what about honoring eyes that were formerly thought to be too small or too close together or a receding chin or ears that stick out to the side or the wrinkles of aging? What about skin under your arms that flap in the wind or juicy round thighs or a buddha belly or breasts that are too small or too big? Add into this list the parts of you that you find unacceptable and imagine what it would be like to accept all of these as the truth of who you are! The relief that comes from finally stepping out of the illusion that you need to be different than what you are in order to be okay is so delicious! 

As I journey through life, I’ve experienced that true beauty shines from the inside out. It shines from loving acceptance of ourselves as we are. Some people I have met who have faces and bodies who are not even close to what we think is beauty, radiate such beauty I am stopped in my tracks.  

So I invite you to do a very courageous thing. And that is take a step into accepting your body exactly as it is. Take baby steps. When I first started doing this all I could look at was my hands and I was stunned by their beauty and by all that they did for me. Slowly, I became able to include other parts of my body, but in the beginning, it was the parts that didn’t bring up the conditioned revulsion. But slowly, even those parts were included back into the wholeness that I am. And as I jiggle and flap my way down the path of life, the joy of accepting my body as it is allows me to open into deep gratitude for all that it does for me.  

So, know that I know, life created you exactly as you are. You are you! You are uniquely you! As you bring all of you home to your heart, we will be blessed as you begin to radiate the unique beauty of you. 

If you would like to know more about how to access what is offered in this blog, please consider joining us for Mary’s What’s in Your Way IS the Way interactive online course starting September 22, 2021. Stay tuned for course specials.