Get or Give

If you look carefully, you’ll see that your mind is a getting machine. It wants more, more, more – more things, more money, better experiences, even better meditations.

And yet it is my experience that being on the ‘getting merry-go-round’ never brings you the lasting peace you long for. Instead, giving brings the greatest joy you can possibly imagine. I saw a news story about a young man who made the shift from getting to giving. He was lost in the foster care world until his forever family adopted him when he was a teenager.

With all the woundings he gathered over the years, he was angry, resentful, and very stubborn. His new mom invited him to do one thing for somebody else each day. He could not think of anything he wanted to do. She went through a whole list of the possibilities and he said no to every single one. Because nobody helped him, he didn’t see why he should help others. She then said, “Can you just open the door for someone?”

He said yes and the next day at school he held the door open for a couple of people and something began to shift inside of him. The next weekend he held the door at church for every single person that was there. This started a cascade of healing inside of him that brought him to the place where, when he was accepted to Nebraska for football, which allowed him to make money on his name, he went to a local sandwich shop and told them he would promote their burritos if they would give a portion of their proceeds to foster care.

When asked what changed for him, he said, “It felt good to be there for other people.” And now, kindness is his passion. Yes, it takes a while to recognize that caring for others also touches our lives. In the beginning, accessing giving by acknowledging how good it feels can help, but ultimately true giving comes from a more altruistic place. It comes from understanding that everybody, on some level, is hurting. They don’t have to live in the earthquake zone in Turkey, nor be lost in foster care. It’s just a truth that all humans, at some level, are struggling.

Naturally being there for others also comes when we realize all people are our kin. There is no accident we are called humankind. We are kin! And our natural inclination is to be kind – humankind.

Our world is desperately in need of people who lead from their inclusive hearts rather than their divisive minds. To meet your fellow beings with your heart, whether it’s holding a door open, a smile, or committing time and money to your favorite nonprofit, heals the world.

Are you willing to do one thing for another human being today? Whether it be a tiny gesture or a huge, revolutionary act, know that you are making a difference in the future of life on this planet.