Whose Side are You On?

That’s the question being asked about the Israeli and Hamas war. Polarization is spreading like wildfire, creating protests all over the world with both sides claiming they are right. It is like a powder keg with a match getting closer and closer.

What can we do about this? First, see there is deep pain on both sides. If you are Jewish, the Germans not only tried to exterminate you but all over the world anti-Semitism is on the rise. Some people see Jews as greedy and less than everybody else. For many people, Jews are the “other.” To be given a sanctuary called Israel must have soothed the fears of many people. But since Israel was created, much of the Arab world has been at war with them. And then, on October 7^th, Hamas launched an appalling surprise attack, and over 1,000 Israelis were slaughtered, tortured, or kidnapped in an astounding display of horror. Now dozens and dozens of families are left with no word about whether their loved ones are alive or dead. Can you feel Israel’s pain?

On the Palestinian side, imagine somebody of authority came to you and said, “We are taking your home and your land away from you and, in return, giving you two small parcels of land (the Gaza Strip and the West Bank). Roughly 850,000 Palestinians were ripped from their homes in 1947 and many still live in deplorable situations. Imagine the entire population of Columbus, Ohio, or Austin, Texas being displaced! Also, in 1967 Israel started creating settlements in the West Bank – land that had been given to the Palestinians. Until last Tuesday, Israel had cut off all food, water, and electricity to Gaza and refused humanitarian aid, leaving countless people scrambling to survive. Now Israel is allowing in only a trickle of aid. At the same time, Israel is bombing innocent civilians in Gaza, killing over 5,000, in hopes of eradicating Hamas. Can you feel the Palestinians’ pain?

And can you recognize the irrationality of war where both sides, in their need to be right and seek revenge, are putting the lives of thousands of innocent civilians at risk?

There is more than enough pain on both sides to allow the justification of their actions! But I am asking you to see this from a bigger perspective. Come sit on the moon with me and see our beautiful planet before you. Recognize that the whole time humanity has been around, it has lived in what I call the “me” kind of mind – the kind of mind that thinks this is good and that is bad, I am right and you are wrong, there is them and there is us. This kind of mind believes that I am better than you because of my skin color, my religion, my political beliefs, or my gender. Untold wars and heartache have come out of this mindset, and it is on full display in this war.

We are now technologically hooked up enough that we can see the insanity of this kind of mind and its propensity for war. It is also becoming abundantly clear that war never solves anything in the long run. We may have stopped Hitler, but fascism went underground and is now popping up all over the world. Israel may believe it is destroying Hamas, but the exact opposite is true. Israel is creating more Hamas fighters, for what we resist persists. War just causes the dominant side to feel it has won and the dominated side to fester in anger and pain, seeking retribution in an unending cycle of war.

If you think fighting solves things, remember the last time you had a major argument with a loved one. What was your mind doing? Justifying your stance. So was the other person. The more entrenched we get, feeling we are right and they are wrong, the less anything gets healed. And over time the relationship can no longer carry the burden of all the unmet feelings. The same is true in the world.

Now imagine after an argument you take some time to feel what was happening inside of you and then realize the other person’s position had some value. Let’s say your friend did the same and you both came back and listened to one another. Not only is the argument healed but your relationship takes another step into true intimacy.

I’m not saying that both sides in this conflict in the Middle East should just stop the war and start communicating with one another. That is not possible, for this old kind of mind that wants revenge is still too entrenched. But what I am saying is this is a watershed moment in the history of humanity. And you can become a part of the healing that can arise out of this by discovering this old kind of mind inside of you and choosing to not get lost in its addiction to struggle.

It may be hard to stop your mind from taking sides. But instead of following it down the rabbit hole of duality, you can watch your mind judge, compare, get enraged, get scared, and assign blame. Then you can cultivate the kind of mind that is asking to be born from this conflict – what I call the “we” mind.

This kind of mind moves from the wisdom of our hearts. It sees we are all in this together, living on a tiny blue-green jewel of a planet. It moves from the truth that everyone is equal to every other person, and there is nobody who doesn’t deserve a home, safety, and respect. Rather than taking sides, the “we” kind of mind listens. And it is this listening that will heal our planet.

So, I invite you to listen to yourself and know that you, over and over again, have a choice about which kind of mind you are going to nurture. Also, listen to your loved ones, listen to random people you meet, especially ones who are different from you, and repeatedly discover your common humanity, discover your sameness. We are all hurting and we all long to be seen. As these moments of “we-ness” accumulate, it will become easier to listen to what’s happening in our world without taking sides.

As I said in my October 16^th blog, we may not see in our lifetime the full effects of the shift to more of us living from our heart minds. But without a shadow of a doubt, each moment of listening makes a difference. And as we respond from our hearts rather than react from our minds, and as more and more of us don’t take sides but see all of our conflicts as life inviting us to mature out of the “me” kind of mind into the “we” kind of mind, human beings will find our common humanity and our world will heal.

Will you join me in holding the vision that humanity can take a huge leap of growth into discovering there is only one of us here?

On a lighter note, there’s lots of exciting news on the horizon! Stay tuned for news on the release of a Belonging to Life audiobook narrated by me and of course, a big sale of her books, perfect for holiday gifts coming up here soon and of course, the Free Live Call night Nov. 14th. I will keep you updated via the newsletter! If you haven’t signed up yet, follow this link: https://forms.aweber.com/form/47/1780654447.htm